I don't know many people ready to argue that love isn't the most powerful feeling. Hatred and fear are up there two, but they lack or the clarity (fear) or the moving power (hatred) to be the equal of love. It's a feeling that is often misdirected and misrepresented in today's fiction. Film industry are the biggest offenders. I know I've discussed this subject before on multiple blogs, but follow my trail of thoughts here.
Take any love movie. For my example, i'll take British film Cashback since it's a great flick (in the artistic sense) and also a prime offender. Hero Ben got dumped by his girlfriend Suzy, poor fellow can't sleep. He finds a way to spend all those bonus hours working in a supermarket where he falls in love with workmate Sharon. I don't want to spoil the ins and the outs of the movie, but you can imagine how it ends.
With the first kiss.
How many love movies have you seen, finishing on the first kiss in between both protagonists? A lot probably. How many other movies will you see where protagonist alienates his/her lover and strives to get it back. During the whole lenght of Cashback, Ben doesn't get love from anyone. He desires his object of passion (it's underlined in this movie more than ever since Ben is an artist), but he lives in complete deprivation of what he wants. Love movies aren't about love most of the time. They are about desire.
Desire, that's another strong feeling.
It's lacking the lasting power of love, but it ranks up there with fear and hatred. It's a flashbang, where love is a blazing inferno. What will teach love to the Occidental Society except for Leonard Cohen's song?
You have to find love where the word is not written.
Quick example. I just finished reading The Green Mile by Stephen King.Paul Edgecombe's wife Janice is up, waiting for him after the Eduard Delacroix execution (executions are performed at midnight in the book. Put botched execution plus driving time...probably over 2 AM). That's love right there. Forgetfulness of oneself for the better of a person you hold dear. Janice fought sleep and fatigue because she knows Paul is up, doing something very hard.
There's no declaration there. Not once, the word "love" was said, no flowers were given or passionnate kisses exchange (Paul and Janice made love that night, but it's beside the point). Janice was there and supportive in a difficult moment. Maybe it's simple and mundane, but I found it to be more touching than every flaming love declaration.
Next time you watch a love movie, don't be fooled. Learn to recognize love from desire.
