I work IT Support during daytime. I write a lot when I'm over there too. My market isn't flooded with calls all the time so I can muster enough focus sometimes to write a paragraph or two. It's a job I find particularly infuriating nowadays. I get all kind of irritating clients one after the other. They put me in such a state of psychotic rage I can barely work on Solace anymore. So I prepared a little easy-to-use guide to calling IT Support and get prompt service, without sending the analyst spiraling down into alcoholism.
1. Be Nice - We're all human beings. We are working hard to resolve your issue and we're going to work harder if you're nice with us. We might even get out of our way to help you.
2. Be Prepared - It's O.K to be a deer in the headlights at the first few calls. After two years, if you still call us weekly for the same dumb issue you cause yourself, you might see the quality of your service plummeting.
3. Be Professional - You cannot create human contact during a fifteen minutes phone call. We're doing the same thing fifty times a day, so there's a good chance we won't remember your name afterwards.
4. Assume That You Messed Up - There's no shame in calling us. We're paid to repair your computer. Don't start second guessing. If you feel like doing it anyway, hang up, try whatever you gotta try and call us back if it doesn't work. A second-guessing client is infuriating. We only want to help you.
5. We're Not Magicians, Be Patient - An I.T department is like a hospital, it's complex and it has many floors. The guy on the phone is a paramedic, not a surgeon.
6. Keep Your Remarks For Yourself - We know it's taking long and it's eating at our stats. It's long and it's not our fault. If anybody is to blame, it's most likely you.
7. Avoid Calling For Microsoft Word Related Stupidities - It's like asking a paramedic to do landscaping. It's useless and soul-killing. If anything called Microsoft's specialized support, not your company's
8. Learn How To Use Google - You might not even need us if you can use this great tool to solve your own issues.
9. We Don't Care About Your Co-Workers - If your co-worker breaks company policy, it's not a valid reason why you should do the same.
10. Be Aware - "I don't know" is not a computer model. It's not the first time and it's not the tenth time you call us. Note it on a memo or something.
