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Movie Review : Parker (2013)


There aren't that many sacred monsters of hardboiled fiction.That kind of goes against the concept. I wouldn't even qualify Raymond Chandler's legendary private eye Philip Marlowe of a sacred monster, because his popularity has transcended the interest of genre fans. Richard Stark's Parker might me one of the only ones. Everybody loves Parker, so when it was announced that British action-hero Jason Statham would play him on the silver screen, nobody went to see it. I literally know of no preexisting Parker fans who have seen the movie and their reasons are perfectly understandable. But PARKER isn't a bad movie. It's not a glorious tribute to the world's most badass thief, but I have paid thirteen dollars for worse movies. As a late Sunday rental, it got the job done quite well.

The movie is based on the novel FLASHFIRE (published in 2000), which I haven't read. Parker is working with an independent grow in the American Midwest on a high-profile robbery. After its flawless execution (duh! they had obviously hired the right man), the crew's thinking head, a man named Melander (awesomely portrayed by Michael Chiklis) offers to cut Parker in on a way bigger score. Only problem is that he needs every dollar from the current one to finance the job. There aren't a lot of ways it can go when someone refuses to collaborate in this business, so Melander gets his lackey Hardwicke (Micah A. Hauptmann) to execute Parker and they leave him for dead on the side of the road. But you can't shoot Parker like this. He's been there before and he kind of takes it personal.

So forget that Jason Statham is playing Parker for a second. I'm aware it's an aberration, but several things about this movie are, execution-wise. PARKER, the movie, has one important thing going for itself: director Taylor Hackford (THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE, PROOF OF LIFE) is obviously a Parker fan and included all the details that made Richard Stark's novel so much fun to read. For example, nobody ever dumb for the sake of the story in Stark's universe. Everybody is tough, street-smart and knows basic survival rules. For example, Claire (played by Emma Booth, they included Claire. That's cool to me right there.) is being chased by a hired killer and instead of panicking and getting herself kidnapped like any other dumb broads in Hollywood, she jumps out the window, slashed the man's tires with her switchblade and drives away. That detail screamed "Stark" to me and that authenticity made the movie enjoyable alone.

...and that face screams "B-movie criminal" to me.

That said, just about everybody outside of Michael Chiklis and Micah A. Hauptmann are a miscast in PARKER, but sometimes it's awesome. Like, there are no valid reasons why Jennifer Lopez was hired to play Leslie. She's pretty bad and the character doesn't get any action from Parker, because he is infatuated with Claire, who is portrayed by the considerably less attractive Booth. Personally, I always pictured Claire to be the Emily Blunt type. She has a womanly charisma that could at least manage to make a man think twice about missing out on bedding Jennifer Lopez and unlike Jason Statham, she can suppress her British accent for the needs of a movie. Honestly, I don't know who could have played Parker better than Mel Gibson did in 1999. Maybe Bradley Cooper, if he could suppress that stupid, perpetual smirk of his. So yeah, the movie is truffled with miscasts, but there are happy accidents. It ranges from bad to hilarious.

I've spoken several times before against Hollywood's obsession over staying loyal to original material and not angering the geeks. PARKER shows that you can include variables without doing a line-by-line Derp-Snyder adaptation. Taylor Hackford adapted what was enjoyable about the Stark novels and crafted something half-original around the rest. The movie slows down considerably and suffers from a mushy middle once Hackford runs out of  "Starkian variables" but redeems itself with its fun, very hardboiled finale. If you don't know who Parker is, you're going to get one of the savviest gangster movies you've seen since the old Elmore Leonard adaptations and if you're a reader, it may turn you to the novels. If like me, you are aware of Parker's half-century of awesome, you're going to get a kick out of this movie. It's probably not going on a your personal shelf anytime soon, but you'll walk away smiling. Despite it's many shortcomings, PARKER is ultimately successful as a movie and as an adaptation both.

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