What are you looking for, homie?

Movie Review : Draft Day (2014)


I love professional sports. They are more than just entertainment to me. I believe that they are the invisible thread that binds us men together, regardless of our origins, religious beliefs or booze preferences. They are rather simple languages that anybody can understand. DRAFT DAY was made for people like me, unapologetic sports nerds who like to theoretize about the management aspect of their respective game as much as about what's happening on the field. It's profoundly stupid, so much that it creates a no man's land between nerds and non-nerds, but it's also quite fun. DRAFT DAY is a fairy tale for sports nerds who still believe in Santa Clause which, you know, goes against our nature.


Sonny Weaver Jr. (Kevin freakin' Costner) is the son of legendary Cleveland Browns coach Sonny Weaver (David Gragg) and the recently appointed General Manager of the franchise. Realistically enough, Cleveland football is in the toilet and the seventh overall pick in the first round of the 2014 NFL draft is not supposed to provide a saviour. But does that saviour even exist? Of course he does! Bo Callahan (Josh Pence), starting quarterback for Wisconsin University, is hailed as the next big thing and the Seattle Seahawks have the first overall pick and the key to his destiny. Only problem is that the Seahaws and the executive of the year * Tom Michaels (Patrick St. Esprit) have a little salary cap problem and they doubt the investment in Callahan at no.1. The pick is suddenly made available to Sonny.

DRAFT DAY is a movie structured around draft day trades, which is like, the nirvana of sports nerdism. It's arguably the most important day of the year in sports management, where everyone puts their cards down and show where exactly they're going with their franchise. DRAFT DAY is trying to tell a great story based on that premise, but totally forgets who it's trying to talk to. I didn't begrudge it about that issue, but you have to understand two things.

1) Trading future first round picks is not dramatic, especially when you're getting a franchise player in return. By definition, a franchise player is supposed to make your team stop sucking immediatly and devalue your draft picks. In fact, it's unlikely that a franchise would trade the no.1 pick for other draft picks alone since they are pure spectulation.

2) The plot of DRAFT DAY is a fireable offense for any GM, in any sports. I'm sure you thought DRAFT DAY was cute and all, but it would've never happened in real life. If Sonny Weaver Jr. would've pulled the antics he did in a real life situation, he would've got a phone call from a pissed off owner (Frank Langella) saying: ''Take your shit and leave, pal. I don't want to see your fucking face when I come back to Cleveland.'' It doesn't matter if Weaver ultimately listens to his gut, the very process that lead him there cost a lot of time, money and football resources to the Browns.

Spot the racial stereotype.

I'm not sure why anybody would've thought it was a good idea for DRAFT DAY to be made. It's a weird NFL vanity movie that, I believe, was made to promote the 2014 NFL Draft **. You can literally pick any prospect in the movie and match him with a real one ***. It's an attempt to turn the draft into a social event, but the logic is faulty here. Harry Crews said it best, sports is as close to the truth as one can get: either you can do it, or you don't. Why start telling people fairy tales about ridiculous draft day trades that would never happen in real life becase, you know, General Managers are usually competent people? DRAFT DAY mysteriously ties-in with the Cleveland storyline. Why is everybody trying to vindicate this city's legacy of loserdom of professional sports? LeBron James, DID YOU FINANCE DRAFT DAY?

So yeah, DRAFT DAY is fun, but it doesn't make any sense whatsoever. The only thing is gets right is underlining how much pressure General Managers are under on draft day, because they are continually on the clock. I have to give the movie credit for triggering discussions between sports nerds and expose the beauty and the complexity of sports management. DRAFT DAY doesn't even have the excuse of being a movie and fishing for dramatic tension though. It's not even plausible. The moves Sonny Weaver Jr. makes during the NFL Draft makes no sense whatsoever. Some would straight out require Jedi mind tricks to work. DRAFT DAY is worth a good laugh for sports nerds like me, but I can't say I see the appeal for other people. 

* Here's an oddity to sports nerds: how do you crown executive of the year somebody who finishes last, with cap issues? Also, if he Michaels won that title for another organization, why would he accept a job for the worst franchise in the league? Challenge? C'mon, there's another underlying NFL scandal under this? I'm pretty sure Tom Michaels has been caught pants down with little boys by Seattle-based paparazzis.

** It came out in cinemas exacly 4 weeks before the actual draft. I see no other reason why this movie would've been made.

*** Linebacker Vontae Mack goes as far as sharing haircuts with his real life counterpart. 

Interview : Max Booth III

Movie Review : Donnie Darko (2001)